A Life Without Regret
by Zuppi
Summary: It's almost become a vicious cycle... No matter what he does he can never make up for the past. But getting past the guilt can sometimes prove too hard and we find ourselves repeating mistakes over and over. EdWin
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Sadly, I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of the characters contained within this fanfiction. It is the property of Hiromu Arakawa, Square Enix Co., Ltd.'s and Monthly Shonen Gangan. I simply worship and adore... sometimes I write fic.

**Author's notes: **This fic is set in a possible future. In my mind it's set in the manga-verse but I don't really think there's much in here that makes a difference either way.

**Warnings: **Hmm... none really. The rating is appropriate so if you've seen that you'll be prepared.

_As always, feedback is highly encouraged! Hope you enjoy the fic._

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Ed watched as Al ran about the garden. He darted about with an apparently endless supply of enthusiasm. Everything fascinated him now that he had been returned to his body. Al ran his hands across the bark of a tree, tore up fist fulls of grass and raised them to his nose, he chased after a butterfly and cartwheeled. Pinako fruitlessly followed in his wake, attempting to calm him down. Every few minutes Al would spin her around by the wrists or embrace her before something else caught his interest and he would be gone once more, eager to re-experience all his senses after so many years devoid of feeling.

A snort of amusement distracted Ed from Al's display. He glanced behind him to find Winry leaning against the door to the balcony, her tool kit in one hand. Ed grinned at her before turning his attention back to Al.

"I thought I told you to come down the the workshop." Winry walked towards him. She attempted to sound irritated but Ed knew she was just as thrilled as he to watch Al enjoy his regained body.

"I was going to come down when he went inside." Ed did not look away from his brother. He could hear Winry dragging one of the chairs to his side.

"He's been running around for hours as it is. I think he'll be out there until he collapses from exhaustion." She sighed happily, leaning out over the balcony to watch the spectacle.

"I better make sure he doesn't over do it." Ed rose to his feet before Winry pulled harshly on his left arm.

"You'll do no such thing!" She got to her feet and placed her hands on her hips. "You're dragging that arm around like a dead weight." She glared in the direction of his auto-mail arm. "Now, take off your shirt and let me do something about it."

Ed narrowed his eyes in her direction. "But Al-"

"But Al nothing." Winry crossed her arms over her chest. "Granny's taking care of him and it's time you took care of yourself."

Ed rolled his eyes, briefly contemplating arguing with her. Her outraged expression, however, decided his actions for him. With a heavy sigh, he used his left hand and began to pull at his shirt.

After his second attempt to remove it single handily, Winry sighed and took charge. Roughly, she took the hem and jerked it up over Ed's head. He pulled his left hand free, scowling as his braid caught in the shirt neck. Sparing no thoughts for his trapped hair, Winry tugged the shirt off his head and down the motionless auto-mail hand.

"Ow! Careful, Winry." He patted his head and adjusted his braid.

"Oh, don't be such a baby." Winry moved her chair so that it was positioned at his right side. "Maybe if you took better care of your auto-mail you wouldn't have to worry about getting your hair pulled." She took her seat and began rummaging around in her tool box.

Ed sighed and collapsed into the chair, adjusting his line of sight so that he could easily observe Al. He snorted in amusement as Al fell to his knees on the dirt road, picking up piles of sand and letting it run through his fingers.

Winry glanced in the younger Elric's direction before turning her attention to Ed's arm. She checked the socket for damage before she began to poke and prod the arm it's self, searching for the fault that caused it to hang limply at Ed's side. "What did you do to it this time anyway?" She asked, tucking a wayward strand of hair behind her ear.

Ed shrugged, leaning forward to keep Al in his line of sight. "Nothing much." He remarked. "There were a lot of things swirling around the transmutation circle, something hit it and it went dead. I wasn't particularly concerned with the arm at the time."

"Well what did you expect preforming alchemy in the workshop?" Winry lifted the arm in order to inspect the elbow joint.

"I wanted Al to be somewhere safe in case…" He trailed off.

"In case your math was off and you didn't come back." Winry tugged harshly on the metal arm, her voice clearly betraying her anger.

Ed sighed, turning his eyes from Al for an instant. Upon finding Winry glaring at him he quickly looked away. "I knew my math wasn't off." His reply was devoid of the usual arrogant tones he used when describing his talents as an alchemist.

Winry snorted in disbelief. "Then why didn't you preform the transmutation else where? If your math was perfect you didn't have to worry about Al coming back on his own."

"Winry-" Ed sighed. "I don't want to argue about this. Can't you just be happy Al's back?"

Winry shook her head but did not continue her line of questioning. "This will be easier if I just remove your arm." She looked up from the metal limb, her anger evident on her tense face.

Ed sighed and nodded. It was obvious that Winry wasn't going to let the subject end there, but she seemed to be letting it go for now. He angled himself into the position he knew facilitated easier disconnection of his arm. Winry grabbed the limb by the bicep, placing her other hand on Ed's shoulder. With a twist she removed the arm before pulling it onto her lap.

Ed watched her for a second before once more returning his gaze to his delighted brother. Pinako seemed to have succeeded in calming him down. He sat leaning against a tree with what appeared to be a rock in one hand. He was running his fingers over it, rubbing it against his face, chest, legs… revelling in the sensation. Pinako seemed to have gathered various objects for Al to wonder in.

Ed smiled as he watched his brother. His heart soared as he observed Al's delight with the world but even now he could not shake the guilt… The guilt at seeing Al so fascinated with the world he had been cut off from due to Ed's own arrogance. Ed had finally succeeded in giving his younger brother back his body but he could never repay the years lost or the pain and isolation suffered during his metal imprisonment.

"Got it!" Winry interrupted his introspection. He turned to find her holding a small screw in a pair of tweezers.

"That's what caused my auto-mail to fail?!"

"It was stuck in a conduction coil." She explained, tinkering around with the elbow joint once more. "It was preventing your nerves transmit instructions to the arm." She twisted the arm around and tested the joint before looking to Ed. "I reconnected the-"

"Yeah, yeah." He interrupted her, not keen on getting another lecture on the exact mechanics behind his artificial limb. "How long will it take to fix?"

Winry glared at him. "It's fixed now actually." She took out a cloth and cleaned the socket. "Do you know how lucky you are to have me as your automail mechanic?" She shook her head at his dismissive attitude. "A lesser mechanic would have had to take the entire joint apart. You would have been armless for at least a day."

Ed sighed, regretting his callous words. "Yeah." Was all he could bring himself to say however.

Winry sighed, once more placing her hand on his shoulder as she re-aligned the arm with the shoulder socket. "Ready?"

Ed nodded, his body tense. In his peripheral vision he saw Winry inhale deeply before connecting the arm. Ed clenched his flesh hand and gritted his teeth against the blinding flash of pain as the nerves connected. Inhaling deeply and rapidly, he recovered from the shock. Reconnecting his auto-mail was an experience he would never get used to.

"Okay?"As usual Winry attempted to sound blasé about reattachmentbut her concern still showed.Her brow was wrinkled and she bit her lip.

Ed took a shaky breath, before smiling crookedly at her. "Fine." He looked down to his metallic limb as he experimentally opened and closed his fingers. He grinned as they responded flawlessly. "Fine." He looked back to her. "Anyway, I won't have to put up with that for much longer." He grinned, stretching both arms above him and arching his back to relieve some of the tension in his spine.

"You know how to retrieve your limbs?" Winry asked breathlessly.

"Not exactly." Ed glanced at Al and Pinako before looking back to Winry. "But I got Al's body back so it should be easy."

Ed wasn't exactly sure how he expected Winry to react to the news. If he was honest he didn't really expect her to react at all. She knew he was on a quest to restore both their bodies, why would she react to him reiterating the fact? He certainly wasn't expecting the reaction he got.

Winry stated at him, her disbelief written clearly on her face. Her eyes were wide and she seemed to be unconsciously shaking her head.

"What?" He enquired, more than a little uneasy with her obvious emotional response.

"You're leaving again to go search for a way to get your arm and leg back?" She asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, of course." Ed replied defensively.

Winry laughed, the sentiment devoid of amusement. "You're kidding, right?"

Ed glared at her, his anger rising. "Of course not! I told you, we're getting both our bodies back."

"Ed, it took you over seven years to get Al's body back and you nearly got killed I don't know how many times! You can't be serious about starting all over again. You've got automail, you can function nearly perfectly. Why would you risk it all?"

Ed frowned at her before getting to his feet and exiting the balcony.

"Where are you going?" Winry demanded, following him into the room.

Ed turned to her as he opened the door into the hallway. "I don't have to explain myself to you." He spat, spinning on heal and making to exit the room.

Winry rushed forward, grabbing him by the wrist and attempting to pull him back into the room.

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_Yeah... not a great place to cut off this chapter but this section of the story was running into the 7000 word mark and it was really getting to be too much!_

_As always reviews are adored! Constructive criticism especially so._


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: **Thanks to everyone who reviewed the previous chapter! I really appreciate the feedback and hopefully the story is better for it!

Special thanks to please-knock for catching my typos!

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_Ed turned to her as he opened the door into the hallway. "I don't have to explain myself to you." He spat, spinning on heal and making to exit the room._

_Winry rushed forward, grabbing him by the wrist and attempting to pull him back into the room._

"Yes, you do!" She insisted. "I'm the one who has to piece you back together after you get up to who-knows-what!"

"Then I'll get another mechanic, one who doesn't butt their nose into my business." His fists clenched and unclenched at his sides.

Winry started at the comment, inhaling sharply. Shaking herself, she carried on. "And what happens when you break something that can't be fixed? Your automail can be repaired Ed, but it's not always going to be the metal that takes a beating. One wrong move…" She sniffed, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "One is all it takes." She looked at him for a second, before her breath began to come in hitches and she dropped her head.

Ed sighed. She was crying. Again. He closed the door and took a step towards her. "Don't." He winced as she whimpered. "Winry… come on." He walked to the bedside locker and picked up a handkerchief that was neatly folded next to an auto-mail magazine. "Here." He thrust it into Winry's hands. "Don't cry."

She took it from him and wiped her eyes. Once composed, she looked back at him. "I don't see why you have to leave again."

Ed sighed, and slumped onto the edge of bed. He stared down at his feet for a second, silently contemplating why he needed to continue his quest, why regaining his limbs was so important to him. "I just…" He shrugged, looking up at her. Tears had once more begun to well up on her eyes. "Come on, Winry, don't cry."

She glared through tears as she took a seat next to him. Ed edged away slightly. "I can't do it again, Ed." Her voice was thin and reedy with emotion. "I… I just can't. I can't spend another seven years wondering what's happening to you… wondering when you'll come to me broken after some battle you won't tell me about… wondering if the next time I see you will be in a wooden box… or if I'll even see you again." She sniffed, dropping her head. "I'm terrified that you'll leave like my parents did… that some military man will turn up one day to tell me you've been killed and all we'll get is an empty coffin to bury instead of a body." She looked to him, tears staining her cheeks. "I can't do it anymore, Ed."

He looked away from her, unable to look at the pain he caused. "Winry…" He sighed, trying desperately to articulate his emotions. "Winry, I don't expect you to understand." He frowned, looking down to his mismatching hands. "I can't rest until I'm whole."

"What does that mean?" Winry shook her head. "You are whole! What difference will getting your arm and leg back make?"

"I need to get back what I'm missing!" He looked back at her, needing her to understand him.

"And what about what you lose in the process?" She grabbed his forearm, ignoring his reaction as he flinched away from her.

"What I lose?" He frowned in confusion.

"Edward, you're missing out on life! On everything. This quest is taking up every moment of your life. You're missing out on so much."

He shook his head, looking away from her. "You're being irrational."

He moved to stand up before Winry launched herself at him. She threw her arms around his neck, sobbing. "Ed, please don't go. You're whole. You don't need to leave again."

"Winry!" He arched away from her, grimacing as her tear stained face rubbed against his bare chest. "Come on. Stop this."

"I'll do whatever it takes. I'll keep building you auto-mail until it's perfect." She pleaded.

"Winry." Ed took her by the shoulders and gently pushed her back so that he could look her in the eyes. "Your automail is amazing. There's none better but…" He sighed, looking away. "It's not real, not me. I can't rest until I restore my whole body. Until I have perfect, _human_ arms and legs."

Winry sniffed, blinking away tears. "But you are perfect." She blushed as Ed looked at her, a little startled at her outburst. "I mean… having your arm and leg back won't change anything. You'll still be the same person."

Ed smiled sadly. "To you and Granny maybe but other people see me as a freak, I-"

"What do you care about other people?!" Winry cried in outrage. "It doesn't matter what other people think of you. We're your family, it doesn't matter to us!"

Ed looked away embarrassed. "But you still see me as a guy with automail." He shrugged. "That's the point."

Winry looked at him sadly. "No, I don't." She sighed. "I just see you as Ed." Her eyes remained locked on his face as she raised her hand to his shoulder. Gently she traced where metal met flesh, her fingers light and delicate. His breath was shaky, his eyes downcast, as her fingers outlined where his automail was bolted to his collar bone. He looked to her face. Winry's eyes followed her fingers, her attention completely focused on tracing lines on Ed's skin. Her fingers trailed from his automail and along the scar tissue bounding the interface between metal and smooth flesh. Ed inhaled sharply, wilting away from her touch like a sheet of paper curling in a flame.

Winry retracted her hand, blushing at her actions. She focused her attention on the hem of her skirt, picking at stray threads. Ed sat unmoving beside her. "You shouldn't feel ashamed, Ed." Winry's cheeks burned as she turned to face him.

He looked right back at her. She could almost see the cogs turning in his head as he tried to classify and categorise the situation. Gone was the self-confident glint from his eyes, replaced by uncertainty and trepidation. He blushed at her intense stare, his eyes falling to observe something just to the left of her shoulder.

Almost sick with nerves, Winry leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, her eyes falling closed. She smiled sadly as he gasped, pulling back from her. She sat back, her eyes once again finding the hem of her skirt very interesting.

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_Yes, a cliffhanger ending... again. What I had intended to be the first chapter of the fic is just far too long so I've split it into four sections. I intend to up-date the next section towards the end of next week. _

As always reviews are adored! Constructive criticism especially so. Thanks again to everyone who commented last week!

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	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's note: **Thanks to everyone who reviewed the previous chapter! I really appreciate the feedback and hopefully the story is better for it! Special thanks to please-knock, my typo catcher!_

_Also, if you have any questions feel free to ask in a review or drop me a private message. I try and answer every question as thoroughly as possible_

**_Thanks to please-knock for finding my typos and grammar mistakes!_**

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Almost sick with nerves, Winry leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, her eyes falling closed. She smiled sadly as he gasped, pulling back from her. She sat back, her eyes once again finding the hem of her skirt very interesting. 

She heard the bed creak as Ed sat up straight. "Winry." His voice was a little shaky and quiet. She rarely heard him address her like that.

Her eyes remained downcast. She refused to look at him, to acknowledge the rejection she knew would be evident in his eyes. Praying, she hoped he would just get up and leave, that he would pretend nothing had happened and that they could carry on as normal.

"Winry." His voice was a little harsher, more pressing.

She bit her lip, closing her eyes. Why wouldn't he just leave? Why couldn't he be like he always was when it came to emotional matters and just ignore them completely? She gasped as his human fingers lightly brushed her thigh. It was barely a touch, in fact, had she not been so tense she would have missed it, but there was no denying Ed had actually reached out and touched her. He definitely wanted her attention.

Blinking back tears of embarrassment and frustration, she turned her eyes to him, looking up through the curtain of her fringe. Ed looked just as tense as she. His brow was furrowed and his lips were pressed into a thin line. He took a deep breath as she looked to him and his mouth opened and closed. She knew he wanted to say something but, as usual, could not articulate his thoughts. His amber eyes fell to her mouth before looking back to her eyes as he wrinkled his brow.

Winry almost laughed… He wanted to kiss her! She knew, she could tell. His eyes swept over her mouth and back to her eyes over and over. He was flustered and tense and waiting for her to make the first move.

Clenching her fists to stop them trembling, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his once more. This time Ed did not retreat. He inhaled deeply, moving forward almost imperceptibly. His index finger grazed her thigh and she moved her own hand forward to clutch at his fingers. She opened her mouth slightly and ran her tongue across Ed's bottom lip. He sighed, leaning forward and opening his mouth. Winry's free hand found its way to Ed's cheek. She stroked his cheekbone and threaded her fingers in his hair. Her stomach jumped as Ed slipped his tongue into her mouth. He seemed nervous and unsure, his shyness causing Winry's heart to race.

Without warning, Ed pulled back. He lowered his head and took deep, calming breaths. Winry remained transfixed, her forehead pressed against his and her hand on his cheek. Her voice cracked as she addressed him. "Ed?"

He looked up at her, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. Winry sighed under his intense gaze. His pupils were dilated and his cheeks were stained pink. In all the years she had been harbouring feelings for the young alchemist she had never truly found him as attractive as now; sitting a hair's breath from her, nervous and vulnerable, devoid of his usual cocky armour. She could feel his warm breath on her cheek and the fluttering of his heartbeat where her little finger rested above his jugular.

"Are you ok?" Winry whispered, not trusting her voice.

Ed shrugged, blushing further. "I've… I've never…" He looked down, worrying his lip.

Winry pressed her forehead against his, smiling. "Neither have I."

Ed looked back to her, a crooked grin on his lips. It was a smile Winry hadn't seen in years, not arrogant or cocky but amused and shy. With a sigh, Winry pressed her lips to his once more. Ed hesitated for a second before he began to kiss her back. This time he was more insistent, his flesh hand coming to rest on her waist. Trembling slightly, Winry wrapped her arms around Ed's neck and began to pull him back onto the bed. She felt him tense against her for a second before relaxing against her

Ed pulled back and looked down, his hair tickling her face. He bit his lip. "Eh… are you okay?" His voice was husky.

Winry nodded, running her fingers through his honey-blond hair. Hands moving to his muscular back, Winry pulled Ed against her. His lips found hers once more, while he slipped his human hand under her t-shirt. Winry gasped and arched against him as Ed stroked up and down her rib cage. She gripped at his shoulders, breathing in his scent as he kissed her deeply.

Winry inhaled sharply as Ed's automail hand ghosted across her stomach. He immediately froze, pulling back from her.

Winry winced at her reaction. She clutched Ed's shoulders, pulling him back as he tried to sit up. "Ed, don't."

He frowned, shaking his head and slipping from her grip. He sat up and swung his legs to the floor, his automail foot clunking on the wood.

"Ed." Winry sat up next to him. She reached out for his human hand only to have him snatch it away. "Ed, please. I-"

"So much for seeing past the auto-mail." He glared at his leg, clenching his human hand.

"I do, it's just-"

Ed snorted and turned away from her.

"Ed!" She leaned forward and grabbed his automail hand savagely. Glaring at him, she shoved it against his own stomach. Ed gasped, instinctively pulling back as the metal grazed his abdomen. "See!" Winry pushed it against him again. "It's freezing cold, okay?"

"Okay!" Ed twisted his hand from her grasp. He looked up at Winry as she began to giggle. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing." She shook her head and sighed, looking back at him. "I told you, I don't care if you have automail or not." She willed him to believe her, her eyes searching his.

Ed sighed and looked away. Winry's heart raced. She could almost see Ed's carefully constructed armour going back up… her opportunity passing her by. Decisively, she reached forward and took Ed's automail hand in her own. He resisted her but Winry pulled harshly, succeeding in getting Ed's attention.

He looked back at her, his expression annoyed and uncertain. Trembling, Winry guided Ed's hand under her shirt, using her own fingers to ensure it cupped her breast.

She looked back to Ed. He was staring at her chest, transfixed. Winry grinned in response.

Ed jumped, retracting his hand and looking to her. His face was beetroot red. "Sorry." He mumbled under his breath.

"It's ok." Winry's voice was breathy.

Ed stared at her, smiling shyly. Biting his lip, he leaned forward and pressed his mouth to hers. Winry inhaled deeply, leaning into him as she gripped at his arm. Ed made a small sound in the back of his throat as he scooted forward, slipping his automail arm around her waist in the process.

This time it was Ed who guided her back onto the bed. Winry sighed contentedly as his weight settled on top of her, bringing her arms to clutch at his naked back. Ed moaned low in his throat before pulling back to look down at her. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes dilated with lust.

"Are… are you sure?" His breathing was rapid and shallow.

Winry smiled shyly at him, brushing his hair back from his face. She nodded stiffly, not trusting her voice at that moment. With a grin, she leaned forward and captured his lips once more. Ed fell upon her, his left hand stroking her cheek while his automail hand snaked under her t-shirt.

With a great deal of fumbling they managed to wriggle out of their clothes. Ed blushed the entire time. He seemed to find great difficulty in looking at Winry, only flushing brighter and dropping his eyes whenever she caught him gazing at her.

It hurt more than Winry had expected. She winced, biting down on her lip. Ed paused as her fingers clutched involuntarily at his shoulders. "Are you ok?"

She looked up at him, forcing a smile. "I'm fine." She swallowed, breathing deeply and willing herself to relax. The pain began to ease and she smiled up at Edward. His arms were trembling with the effort of remaining still and his face was a mask of concentration. Winry leaned forward, kissing him while she eased her grip on his shoulders, moving her hands to his hips as a sign of her readiness.

Ed moaned loudly as he began to move against her, kissing her back only for a second before he began to pant against her neck.

It was nothing like Winry was expecting. The other girls had whispered and giggled about their experimentation but they hadn't mentioned it being like this. It still hurt a little and she felt somewhat self-conscious being naked with Ed. It was stranger for her to see him like this; laying himself bare before her. Even during his lucid moments of automail surgery he had done everything in his power to control his emotions. Seeing him like this almost felt like she was trespassing on something intensely private where she had no place.

Suddenly, Ed's movements became more erratic. He gasped against her before supporting himself on his left hand. Clumsily he kissed Winry, wrapping his automail hand across her shoulder as he pulled her against him.

Winry winced as his grip increased. She could see the tension in Ed's shoulders, his brow furrowed and jaw clenched. He gasped once more, gripping her more tightly.

"Ed!" Winry squeaked in pain, trying to squirm away as his automail contracted around her collarbone.

Ed moaned her name, obviously misinterpreting her cries and gripped harder at her shoulder.

Winry cried as his fist closed against the bone and sharp burning pain shot across her torso. "ED STOP!"

Ed ceased his movements immediately, shock evident on his face. "Winry, what's wrong?"

The pain blinded her and Winry closed her eyes tightly, forcing tears from them. With her right arm she beat against Ed's automail, unable to articulate her intentions.

Ed stared at her in confusion before he realised the problem. His breath caught in his throat as he saw the damage he had done.

"Oh God, Winry." He blinked rapidly as he slowly opened his fist.

Winry whimpered, tears running freely from her eyes.

"Winry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please forgive me." Ed tried to move away. His weight shifting on the bed caused Winry to call out in pain. "Winry, I'm sorry." He bit his lip as tears of guilt stung his eyes.

"Ed? What's happening?!"

Ed gasped as Pinako's voice drifted through the open balcony doors. He looked around in desperation, unsure what to do.

"Edward!"

Ed climbed off the bed as gently as possible before grabbing his boxer shorts from where they lay on the floor. Quickly pulling them on, he ran onto the balcony.

Pinako and Al stood below, their faces confused and worried.

"Call a doctor!" Ed ordered of them, turning back to tend to Winry.

"What?! Why?" Pinako asked in confusion.

"Just do it!" Ed didn't bother looking back.

He ran to Winry to find her still lying on the bed, her right arm cradling her injured shoulder. "Winry, the doctor's coming." Ed's hand shook as he reached for her, never quite making the contact.

Winry whimpered, turning to look at him. "I need to put some clothes on." Her voice was small.

"No, you're fine. The doctor has seen it all before. You shouldn't move." Ed tried to reason with her.

"It's not the doctor I'm worried about." She blinked tears from her eyes.

"I'll pull the sheet up on you, ok?" Ed swallowed past the lump in his throat. His own eyes burned with shame at seeing the pain he had caused.

"No." Winry moaned. "Ed, Granny will kill us. Please." She began to cry. "Please, just help me put my dressing gown on. I don't want her to see me naked."

Ed nodded, not trusting his voice. He ran to Winry's wardrobe and threw it open. Grabbing a light blue, cotton dressing gown from where it hung on a hook he quickly made his way back to Winry.

"Here." He held it out, standing above her, unsure how to proceed.

Winry tried to sit forward but gasped in pain before making much progress "Will you help me up?"

Ed nodded, dropping the dressing gown and sitting at the head of the bed. Gently he slipped his arm around her, wincing in tandem as she gasped in pain. Very slowly, he supported her as she moved into a sitting position. Once satisfied she was steady, he fetched the dressing gown. He helped her put it on, draping the left side over her injured shoulder before tying it at her waist.

He had just completed this when Pinako stormed into the room. Ed jumped back from Winry, his cheeks burning. Pinako surveyed the scene. Her eyes took in the dishevelled bed, Winry in nothing but her dressing gown and Ed in a similar state of undress, his hair unkempt.

Ed dropped his eyes, unable to maintain eye contact with the stern woman.

"Ed, I think you should wait outside." Her voice was icy.

Ed did not spare a second. He darted from the room, slamming the door in his wake.

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_You must be getting used to cliffhangers at this point _

_I'm consistently__ mean__ to poor Ed and Winry. It's terrible really.  
_

_As always reviews are adored! Constructive criticism especially so. Seriously, I love hearing people's thoughts on my fics, whether you like it or not! I write to improve, which I can't do unless I know where I'm going wrong. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's notes: **Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I really appreciate your input. And yes, I'm sorry for being so evil to Ed and Winry once more. I honestly don't know why I do it. Sadistic pleasure I guess... I just love the angsting.

And a hundred, thousands thanks yous to my wonderful beta please-knock!

* * *

Ed and Al sat side by side against the Rockbell's house. Al had not questioned Ed on what had happened; instinctively knowing Ed would not be forthcoming with any information.

He had followed Pinako upstairs only to run into Ed exiting Winry's bedroom looking dishevelled in a pair of boxers. Ed had looked white as a sheet. He had blinked at Al before running to the bathroom and vomiting. He came out a few minutes later and dressed before slowly making his way to the front of the house.

That had been almost an hour ago and still Ed had not uttered a word.

They both inhaled sharply as the front door opened and Pinako and the doctor walked onto the deck.

"That injection should allow her to sleep. We can start with the surgery tomorrow, there's no point in delaying it."

Ed winced as the doctor spoke.

Pinako sighed. "I should have the replacement clavicle finished by noon." She paused before continuing. "Do you really think it will be necessary?"

"Pinako you saw for yourself the state of the bone, it's almost completely shattered. I doubt there will be anything to salvage. We could certainly try pinning it, but honestly, she'd recover faster if we just replace it completely. She's seventeen, almost fully grown. I doubt we'll need to replace it in the future."

Pinako sighed once more. "You're right, you're right." She snorted. "You just never think the person you're going to be performing surgery on is going to be your own flesh and blood, you know?"

They heard the doctor sigh and mumble something to Pinako before he descended the steps and came into their line of view. He noticed them crouched against the house. His eyes flickered to Ed's automail hand and then to his Ed's face.

Ed could not withstand the scrutiny and dropped his gaze. He heard to doctor's shoes crunch the gravel as the older man walked away.

He heard Pinako sigh once more before the sound of her feet descending the steps reached his ears. His heart raced and he scrambled to his feet, sprinting around the back of the house.

He couldn't face her… not yet. How could he explain himself? Hurting Winry was the last thing he'd wanted to do. She probably hated him now.

He sighed, slumping against the back of the house. He wrapped his hands around his knees and rested his head against his arms.

Winry was wrong. None of this would have happened if he had his limbs back. He wouldn't have shattered her collarbone and she wouldn't have to have surgery. Getting his limbs back would make all the difference, he couldn't settle for automail anymore.

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Ed waited until night fell. He hadn't been in the mood to talk to anyone, not even Al, and so he had hidden in the woods by the river. He didn't know how to explain what had happened, even to his own brother.

The lights had been off in the Rockbell house for over an hour now and so he assumed everyone was fast asleep. He made the trek back to the house as quickly as possible, his automail chilling rapidly in the cold night air.

As quietly as possible, he opened the back door. He ascended the stairs, wincing at every creak and whine of the floorboards. Slowly, he opened the door to the room he shared with Al and tip toed over to the dresser. He eased the drawers open and snatched a few pairs of pants and some t-shirts, dropping them into his old, battered suitcase.

He only packed the bare minimum. Any non-essentials he could buy on the road. He wanted to get going as soon as possible. It was not worth the risk of waking someone simply to retrieve a toothbrush.

With everything packed and ready to go, he got to his feet and slipped on his red coat. His eyes flickered to Al of their own accord and he blinked rapidly. He had only just restored his brother but it wasn't fair to ask Al to come on this quest with him. Because of him, Al had already missed out on so much and besides, Winry could probably use the company.

He tried not to imagine travelling without his brother by his side. He really couldn't imagine his life without Al in it but he could not ask this of him. It was Ed's fault all this had happened and he needed to fix it on his own.

He sighed and exited the room leaving Al behind.

He paused on the landing. His eyes drifted to Winry's room. After a moment's contemplation, he quietly placed his suitcase on the ground and stole over to her door. He eased it open and peered inside, part of him afraid Pinako would have chosen to sleep by her grand-daughter's side.

He sighed with relief upon finding Winry alone. He crept to her bedside, careful not to wake her.

She lay on her back, her arm supported by a pillow. She still wore her blue cotton dressing gown and her left shoulder was exposed a little by it. Already he could see the fresh, bright purple bruise against her pale skin. Even from what little he could see, the bone appeared misshaped and mangled. He felt bile rise in his throat and looked away, blinking back tears of shame and guilt.

Once composed, he looked to Winry's face and found her sleeping fitfully. Her brown was wrinkled and she looked to be in pain, even in sleep. Gently, he pushed her fringe back from her brow. She whimpered in response and Ed quickly withdrew his hand, fearful of waking her.

He watched her disturbed sleep for a few seconds more before turning away. He couldn't watch the pain he'd caused anymore. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before walking quietly to the door. Looking back at her, he sighed, whispering "I'm sorry" but, in truth, hoping she wouldn't hear

He closed the door behind him and turned only to be confronted with Al, full dressed and with his own suitcase in hand.

Ed blinked at him for a few seconds, unsure whether or not his eyes were playing tricks with the shadows.

Al smiled sadly at him, spurring Ed into action. "What are you doing?" He hissed.

Al smiled a little brighter. "I'm coming with you." He whispered back.

Ed shook his head, pushing past Al and picking up his own suitcase. "No, you're not."

Al sighed and silently followed Ed downstairs. "Yes, I am, brother."

Ed wanted to storm into the kitchen but feared waking Pinako or Winry and so was forced to quietly walk. He turned on Al once the younger boy closed the kitchen door behind him. "Al, you're not coming with me." He voice was calmer but no less resolved.

Al took a deep breath. "Yes, I am. We promised each other we'd get both our bodies back. It wouldn't be equivalent trade if I didn't help you."

Ed frowned. "Al, you only just got your body back. You still need to get better. You're so skinny. This was my mistake, I need to fix it."

Al grinned at Ed. "I may be skinny but I'm still taller than you." When he received no response he frowned. "Brother, it was an accident-"

"You don't even know what happened!" Ed snarled.

"I know you'd never hurt Winry on purpose." Al took a step towards Ed. "I don't want you to go on your own. You got my body back, now it's time I helped you."

Ed shook his head but did not reply. He didn't want to do this alone, he didn't want to be separated from Al so soon after restoring him… but Al was wrong, it's wasn't fair to ask for his help.

"I'm just going to follow you anyway." Al seemed to read his mind. "If you leave without me, I'll find you eventually." He grinned. "It's not like you know how to keep a low profile."

Ed smiled slightly in response. "Thanks Al." He whispered, dropping his eyes to the floor.

Al took a step forward and hugged Ed against him. Ed froze, his automail arm going rigid by his side. A moment later Al took a step back.

"Brother," He sounded weary. "I think perhaps you should wait until at least tomorrow to leave."

Ed looked at him sharply. "No." He said forcefully.

"Ed, you don't-" Al reached for Ed's arm only to have it yanked from his grip.

"I said 'no' Al." Ed snapped. He caught himself a second later. "I… I can't face her right now. I can't face Pinako." He shook his head. "Not now."

Al nodded in response, not knowing what to say.

After a minute, Ed composed himself. He picked up his suitcase before looking to Al. "We better get going." He smiled sadly. "The early train to Central will be leaving soon."

Al snorted. "It's the middle of the night."

"Well, I don't want to miss it." Ed grinned back.

It was a false smile, looking more like a wince than a grin but Al didn't question him.

Picking up his own suitcase, Al looked to Ed, waiting for the older boy to make the first move.

Ed sighed, looking around the room for a few seconds before walking to the front door and stepping into the chilly night.

* * *

_So? I think my evilness rating went down slightly in this chapter but perhaps not. I really need independent evilness ratings because I don't think I'm a great judge of my own stuff. _

_As always reviews are adored! Constructive criticism especially so. Seriously, I love hearing people's thoughts on my fics, whether you like it or not! I write to improve, which I can't do unless I know where I'm going wrong._


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's notes: **Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I really appreciate your input. This chapter begins the second arc of this particular story. It will be only two chapters long. I intend to up-date the next chapter in about a week, lets say... Thursday 21st. I've always liked the number 21.

And endless thank yous to my magnificent beta **please-knock**!

* * *

Ed sighed in the heat of Rush Valley. He honestly hated this place. While normally scorchingly hot and dry, today Rush Valley was humid and overcast. His skin was clammy, causing his clothing to stick uncomfortably to his skin He sighed, scanning the area and wondering how to go about finding a capable engineer.

Al eyed him wearily. "I still think we should go back to Risembool. Winry and Granny are not going to be happy when they discover you let someone else work on your arm."

"I told you, Al. I'm not going back there…" He pushed painful memories from his mind. "Not yet… I can't."

"Brother, it's been almost two years, I think-"

"Al, I'll go back when I get my limbs back, ok?!" Ed spat fiercely.

Al regarded him for a moment before smiling in understanding. They had had this argument countless times before and still Ed's position was unwavering. "Ok."

Ed shifted his jacket over his limp right arm. "Let's get out of this heat, I'm dying."

They walked in the shade of some stores, both on the lookout for the workshops of the automail mechanics they had been recommended. Al had initially suggested that they go to Dominick or Garfield but Ed had been completely against the idea and so it had not been brought again.

Ed looked out over the bustling city, his eyes pealed for any recognisable names. As usual, the streets were filled with people. Various merchants sold their wares, automail mechanics and users chatted enthusiastically and shoppers mulled between stores. The people looked like ants, scurrying about in the oppressive heat.

A long whip of white blonde hair attracted his attention and Ed stared into the crowd. His heart leapt into his mouth as he spotted Winry. She was at a fruitmerchant's, basket and shopping list in hand. He had no idea she was here in Rush Valley… he would never have come had he known. He swallowed his surprise and was just turning to look away when Al quizzically followed his gaze.

Al's mouth fell open before a smile of recognition flashed across his face. Ed rushed to get his attention but Al called out to her instinctively.

Winry whipped around upon hearing her name, her eyes finally picking Al out from the crowd as he dashed towards her. She laughed loudly as he embraced her, swinging her around easily now that he towered above her.

Ed sighed as he slowly made his way over. There was no avoiding the acquaintance now. He stopped a few steps back from where Al and Winry were still happily hugging and laughing. He tried to swallow past the lump in his throat. Winry certainly looked well. She looked as she had on the last day he had seen her, happy, smiling, vibrant… There didn't seem to be any lasting damage.

Al released Winry from the embrace and took a step back. His eyes fell on Ed and his smile faltered somewhat. Winry wilted a little when she noticed the older brother.

Ed sighed at her reaction. He took a deep breath but a mumbled 'hey' was all he could muster before he broke eye contact.

"Winry, are you going to introduce me or shall I leave you three alone?" A deep chuckle interrupted the awkward moment.

Ed looked up to find a tall, sandy haired boy standing close to Winry. She shook herself before smiling at him. Even after two years Ed, could clearly see it for the forced smile it was. "Sorry. Will, this is Alphonse and Edward Elric."

The young man, Will, smiled widely and offered his hand to Al and Ed. "The famous Elric brothers, eh?"

Ed forced himself not to roll his eyes at both the remark and the offered hand. He noticed all three regard him strangely. "Sorry," He shrugged, offering his left hand to Will's right. "Only this one is working right now."

Will switched hands and shook Ed's left hand enthusiastically. "You in Rush Valley for a repair job?" He asked.

Simultaneously, Winry glared at Ed. "You broke it? _Again?!_"

Ed sighed, preparing himself for an earful once more. "It's not badly damaged." He replied meekly.

"I'll be the judge of that." Winry took a step forward as she pushed her basket into Will's hands. She pulled Ed's coat off his shoulder and began testing the limb.

Ed's heart raced at her close proximity. He kept his eyes downcast and tried to steady his rapid breathing and racing pulse.

After a quick inspection, Winry took a step back and glared at him, hands on hips. "It's probably going to have to come off to be repaired and it's not going to be cheap."

Ed nodded. "Yeah, yeah. I can afford it."

Winry's voice became icy. "Shall I assume this is going to be a rush job?"

Ed looked away. "I can pay for that too."

Winry snorted before turning back to Will. "Let's not waste time then." She took the basket from him and began marching down the street.

Will smiled at the brothers, inviting them to follow.

---------- ---------- ----------

Winry appeared to be back working for Garfield, although the flamboyant man was not in his workshop. She expressed her intent to work on Ed's arm straight away but Will had suggested they eat lunch first. He seemed to be a nice, agreeable young man, easily falling into conversation with Al as he went about preparing their meal.

If Will noticed Ed or Winry's unusually quiet demeanour,he did not comment on it. He chatted with Al as he darted about the kitchen, placing bread, cheese and cold meats on the table; the indigenous food of the region. Ed sat watching him in silence as he went about preparing some tea to go with their meal. He couldn't quiteput his finger on it but he did not like this boy… it could have been anything, the fact that he was taller than average, his ease of conversation or the fact that he used any excuse to lightly touch Winry. He put a hand on her shoulder as he placed the breadbasket on the table. While weaving by her with the teapot, he lightly brushed the small of her back. When he passed her the cheese, his fingers obviously touched hers.

Ed's jaw tightened in frustration. He didn't want to watch the easy affection being displayed but he couldn't look away. Al came to sit beside him and kicked him harshly in the shin. Ed glared at Al, but from the look his younger brother gave him, Ed guessed he was watching too closely. Sighing, Ed looked down at his hands and tried to ignore the twisting of his stomach.

Once everything was ready and on the table, Will and Winry joined the Elrics. Al fidgeted in the tense silence for a few seconds before interrupting. "So, where are you from, Will?"

Will looked up from the cheese he was cutting. "I'm from Central." He grinned. "I hope you country folk wouldn't look down on a city slicker like myself."

Ed rolled his eyes once more, earning himself another kick from Al.

"Of course not." Al forced a chuckle. "We lived in Central for many years when Ed was in the military. It's a nice city."

Will nodded before swallowing a chunk of bread. "Oh, of course, Winry and Garfield told me that she would visit you both on repair jobs."

He looked to Winry as if expecting a response but she merely shrugged and looked away.

Al bit his lip, angry with both Ed and Winry for being so stubborn.

After a pause, Will turned to Ed. "So you left the military then?"

Ed took a deep breath, forcing himself not roll his eyes. "Yes." When he failed to elaborate further Al kicked him under the table once more. Ed gritted his teeth and glared at his brother. "I left about two years ago."

"Still though, youngest State Alchemist in history. That's no mean feat."

Ed shrugged, drumming his fingers on the table.

The silence stretched on. This time it was Al who interrupted. "How's Granny, Winry?"

Winry shook herself and smiled at Al. "She's fine. She officially retired a few months ago but you know her. She's been busier than ever with her own projects since."

Al laughed. "That sounds about right!"

Winry laughed with him, though her laughter never reached her eyes. "And look at you, Al. The two years have been good to you. You don't look like a famine victim any more."

Al laughed heartily. "Well, I had seven years worth of eating to catch up on."

Winry nodded and smiled happily at him.

Ed looked at Will. The young man looked a little confused with the conversation and so Ed assumed Winry had not told him the full story surrounding the Elric brothers.

"So how did you know I was in Rush Valley then?" Winry glanced at Ed for a second before looking back to Al.

The smile dropped from Al's face, replaced by a look of confusion. "What?"

"I'm just wondering who else knows I'm in Rush Valley." At the blank looks she received from both Ed and Al, she continued. "If you weren't talking to Granny how did you know I was here?" Her brow furrowed in confusion.

Al blinked in response. Winry thought they came here looking for her? He wasn't sure how he should respond to that. She looked hopeful that, after two years, Ed (and he knew it was Ed she was hopeful about) had finally come looking for her, even if he still did have his automail. Telling her that it was just coincidence would probably hurt her.

Al swallowed nervously and looked to Ed. Ed looked just as confused, though Al guessed he, clueless as ever to emotional matters, did not understand the full implications behind Winry's question.

Before Al could kick him in the shin once more, Ed blurted out. "We didn't know you were here."

Winry swallowed, her lips a thin line. "So you just happened to see me then?"

Realisation seemed to dawn on Ed. His mouth fell open a little and he looked away quickly. After a beat, he shrugged his shoulders, biting down on his bottom lip.

Silence descended once more. Al looked between Ed and Winry, desperately trying to think of some way to make things better.

After a few seconds, Winry got to her feet. "If everyone's finished, it's time we got to work on Ed's arm. Will and I are very busy because Garfield is away." She picked up her plate and quickly deposited it in the sink before practically running from the kitchen.

Will smiled at the brothers, looking somewhat confused although he did not comment on what passed. He followed Winry's lead and left his plate in the sink. Turning back to Ed, he glanced at the motionless automail arm. "Time to get that working again, I guess."

---------- ---------- ----------

Will half-heartedly tried to make conversation with Ed then Winry for the first half hour. After receiving numerous monosyllabic answers, he eventually gave up and they worked in silence. It was almost a relief when another customer came in and he enthusiastically rushed off to treat him.

Winry sighed as he left, but did not attempt to enter conversation with Ed. She frowned as she leaned forward, squinting to gain a better view of the malfunctioning section in the elbow.

Ed watched her for a second before turning his gaze to her collarbone. The skin was mostly obscured by the straps of her top, but the scar was still visible from where he sat. It was only just noticeable, a pale line of ever so slightly raised skin, not at all like the savage scars that marred his own body. He watched as the skin moved over the bone fluidly, responding to the various twists and turns Winry enacted in order to repair his automail. He wondered if the doctor had managed to save the bone, or if Winry, like him, was now part metal.

Winry sighed, sitting back and pushing the hair from her eyes. "Finished." She proclaimed. She just caught Ed staring at her exposed shoulder and eyed him cautiously.

Ed looked away immediately, stretching his fingers and testing the joints of his newly repaired arm. "Eh… thanks." He glanced back at her.

Winry regarded him, a slight sneer on her face. "Do you want to pay me now or when Al gets back?"

Ed sighed, getting to his feet and retrieving his bag. "Now is fine." His voice was uncharacteristically quiet.

Winry went about cleaning away her tools while Ed fished in his suitcase for the agreed amount. She attempted to lift the heavy metal box, but winced in pain and clutched her left shoulder instinctively. Ed inhaled sharply, moving to help her. She turned on him, glaring. "I'm fine, Ed. I don't need your help."

Ed took a deep breath, stepping back. "How's Granny liking retirement?" He asked, unable to take the tension.

"Maybe you should just ring her and find out." Winry stopped what she was doing and glared at him.

Ed shifted from foot to foot, unsure how to respond. "I've been meaning too, I just-"

Winry scoffed. "Oh come of it, Ed! You only ever called when you need something, don't try and tell me you've _changed_."

Ed could bite his tongue no longer. "Well, one of us certainly has."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Winry narrowed her eyes.

"You were always difficultWinry, but you were never a complete bitch. I guess not everyone changes for the better." He spat.

Winry blinked at him for a few seconds, breathing deeply and biting her lip, before she abruptly turned on heal and stormed out of the workroom.

Ed glared at the door as it slammed shut. It had been a long time since he'd been this angry. Why was she being so unreasonable? He had left to make things better. What could he offer her with two automail limbs? Broken bones and bruises? Who wanted that? And what had she done? Run away to Rush Valley and found herself some idiot city boy! Why was _she_ angry with _him_? He was only trying to make things better. _She_ was the one who had changed. She _had_ become a bitch… there _was_ a chance she was hurt, he supposed… he probably shouldn't have just said they weren't even looking for her when they came to Rush Valley but that didn't change the fact that she yelled at him. She couldn't still be angry that he left without telling her two years ago, could she? She obviously understood why he had left so abruptly, didn't she?

He kicked the heavy metal table in frustration as the guilt of what he had said and done slowly began to sink in. He sighed, running a hand through his hair and pacing the room. Groaning in frustration, he shrugged on his coat before exiting after her.

* * *

_As seems to be the pattern, I'm being evil... I think I must have been someone very bad in a former life... I just love the angsting far too much. Ed's especially, but I'm quite partial to Winry angst too. _

_  
As always reviews are adored! Constructive criticism especially so. Seriously, I love hearing people's thoughts on my fics, whether you like it or not! I really want to improve my stuff so any and all comments are welcome!_


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's notes: **Eek... a week late... Sorry guys. The reasons are two fold. (1) Life has got even more hectic! (2) Ed would not cooperate with me at all! Seriously, getting dialogue out of him was like pulling teeth.

Mountains of thanks to my wonderful beta **please-knock**! Without her, my stuff would be impossible to read through the typos!

* * *

Opening the door of the workshop, Ed found the heavens had opened. Rain poured down in large, heavy drops but the sweltering, stick heat had abated somewhat. Cursing both himself and Winry, Ed pulled his jacket around him and ran out into the downpour.

The streets were almost completely empty. The city itself looked strange without the usual hustle and bustle of automail mechanics and shoppers. The characteristic red dust of Rush Valley had turned to thick, brown mud in the downpour. Ed slipped and slid about as he jogged through the streets, eyes peeled for Winry.

He turned a corner and finally spotted her. She was sheltering from the torrent in the porch of what appeared to be an abandoned café. Pulling his collar up around his neck, Ed marched in her direction, not in the least bit looking forward to their confrontation.

Winry spotted him as he sloshed through the mud towards her. He watched as she turned her back to him and began fiddling with the lock of the café. Gritting his teeth, he quickened his pace, hurrying forward. Winry succeeded in picking the lock of the café just as he made it to the porch. She slammed the door behind her. Ed tried to slow down but his shoes could not find purchase in the slick mud. He slipped into the door with a bang, cursing himself.

"Winry, let me in!" He banged on the door. He waited a few seconds and upon hearing no reply he clapped his hands before pressing them to the peeling paint of the door. Blue light lit up the lock before he reached forward and opened the door with ease.

The café was indeed abandoned. Chairs were stacked on top of tables, while a heavy canvas was pulled over the counter top. Everything appeared to be covered in a thick carpet of dust, illuminated only by the grey light filtering in through cracks in the boarded up windows.

"I locked that door for a reason." Winry stood before him, hands crossed over her chest. Her clothes were saturated and her hair hung limp. Steam rose from her body as the water evaporated in the heat.

Ed's breath caught in his throat. He swallowed, blinking quickly. "There's no such thing as a locked door to an alchemist." He took a deep breath. "You should remember that."

Winry snorted, rolling her eyes. "I will."

Ed swallowed nervously and cursed his own impulsive nature. He had no idea what to say to her… he should have just turned back at the prospect of a locked door. "Listen, Winry…" He sighed. "I… I'm sorry about before…" Even after all these years, he couldn't bring himself to look at her.

"For what exactly?"

Ed looked up to find Winry glaring at him, obviously livid with anger. "What?"

"Well, what is it that you're sorry for?" She didn't leave him time to respond before continuing. "Are you sorry for calling me a bitch or are you sorry for sleeping with me and then disappearing into thin air the next day?"

Ed simply gaped at her. Somehow '_both'_ didn't seem like an adequate response.

Winry watched him for a moment before throwing her hands up in exasperation. "You know, Ed, I don't really care." His stomach dropped at her icy tone. "I'm not bothered by whatever you're beating yourself up about _this_ week. I'm happy here so I guess I'll just see you around. I'm sure you'll drop out of the blue the next time you destroy your arm."

She moved to walk past him and, instinctively, Ed grabbed her by the wrist. She turned and glared at him. "You're happy here?" He asked, his voice hollow.

"Yes." She answered perhaps a little to quickly, her voice terse.

Ed swallowed past the lump in his throat. He could feel her pulse racing against his fingers. "Happy here…" He repeated. "with… with Will?"

He saw Winry swallow, her jaw tense. She bit her lip and he could almost feel her efforts to slow her breathing.

His heart raced in his chest as he observed her. Her skin was flushed in pink, from anger or embarrassment he did not know. She looked scared, nervous, and for the first time since bumping into her, Ed saw signs of the Winry he had left behind.

Steam still danced from her skin, rising in wisps before disappearing into the surrounding air. Ed's entire being urged her forward… forced him to action.

Unconsciously, he stroked her wrist with his thumb, thrilling as her skin shivered beneath his touch.

She looked so beautiful. Fierce and determined, yet somehow shy… the Winry he had left until he was good enough for her, until he purged his sins and all visible traces of them.

How he missed her. More than ever before, more than he thought possible. On his earlier travels he had pushed thoughts of Winry from his mind; his goal was to restore Al, but his new goal was different. He wanted to restore himself _for_ her. He had hurt her with his automail and that was unforgivable… but he knew now what it felt like to kiss her, to taste her skin, the sensation of her body pressed against his.

He had found her again too soon. He hadn't suspected that she would be angry with him, even though, considering it logically, she was probably entitled to be.

Now, she stood before him, angry and bitter and still taking his breath away.

His heart raced in his chest. The palm of his hand was wet and clammy where their skin touched. He couldn't take it any longer; the wait had dissolved his self-control. She stared at him, skin flushed and eyes fierce. She was angry with him anyway… being this close to her was intoxicating and so Ed acted without fully thinking through the consequences.

Without warning, he took a step forward, harshly pressing his lips to hers. He pulled her to him with his flesh hand on her wrist, while his automail hand snaked around her waist.

Winry's right hand clutched at Ed's jacket and he groaned as she kissed him back. Maybe he could make things better. He _couldn't_ tell her how he felt, but he could show her.

Without warning, Winry pulled away from the kiss. She leaned back slightly, her wrist still in his grasp and her own fingers curled in the material of his jacket. Her eyes searched his face but she remained silent.

She wanted him to say something, needed it even. Ed could see it clearly on her face but his voice caught in his throat. He felt small and inadequate. She opened her mouth to saysomething but Ed cupped her face with his hands and kissed her again.

He shivered against her, his wet clothing contrasting strangely with his hot skin. He pulled her tightly against him as he surrendered to his lust, kept in check far too long. Ed felt feverish, hot. He wanted to touch every part of her, to know her body whole. Two years spent wondering, longing and now he couldn't hold it back any longer. He eased her back to one of the tables, pushing off the upturned chairs before picking her up by the waist and leaving her sitting on the table.

Wet clothes stuck to clammy skin but neither of them paused long for such consideration. Ed buried his head in her neck as he clutched at her. He nipped at her throat as Winry wrapped her legs around his waist and whimpered. With the last vestiges of his coherent mind he gripped savagely at the table with his automail hand, determined not to make the same mistake twice.

At that moment in time, it felt like the most important sensation in the world but then it was over and he was just gasping wordlessly against Winry's neck, his automail hand clenching and unclenching at the tabletop.

He held her tightly with his left arm while his breath and pulse raced. The rain continued to fall and the sound of it pounding on the roof of the boarded up café seemed impossibly loud.

Winry shifted slightly, rousing Ed. He flushed red as he straightened up and took a step back. He turned from her, embarrassed by his impulsive behaviour. Clumsily, he pulled his trousers back up on his hips and closed his belt. He could hear Winry behind him, adjusting her own clothing. He ran a hand through his dishevelled hair and sighed. He wasn't exactly sure how to proceed. This whole thing in Rush Valley had completely thrown his plans.

Two years ago he left, intent on retrieving his limbs and returning to Winry whole and complete. He certainly hadn't expected to find her in Rush Valley, angry and bitter with him, another man on her arm. But after what had just happened… well, she had to feel _something_ for him. Maybe if he just explained the plan to her, she'd understand.

He turned to find Winry, her back to him; replacing the chairs they had knocked off the table. He took a step towards her, reaching out to help. "Eh… sorry about that."

Immediately, he knew Winry had misinterpreted him. She tensed visibly, her back going rigid. "That's fine." She replied, keeping her back to him. Her voice was quiet but thick with anger.

"No, Winry, I-" He desperately tried to repair the damage before it was too late.

"No, Ed, I said it's fine." She turned to glare at him and Ed instinctively took a step back. "I guess I'll be seeing you around. What'll it be this time? Three years? Four?"

"Winry, you don't understand-"

She snorted. "I think I understand perfectly. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a three o'clock appointment." She stormed past him.

"So that's it?" He began to get angry with her. "You're going to stay here, with _him_?"

She turned to face him. "What? Did you think I sat around all day pining away for you or something?"

Ed shook his head in disbelief. "You're going back to him? After… after we just-"

Winry flushed. "It was a mistake, Ed. You of all people should understand that people make mistakes." Her tone is acidic and biting.

Ed took a step forward. His stomach was twisted in anger. She had no right to throw that in his face. "Was it a mistake the first time too?"

"Well, come on, Ed. I'd hardly count the first time." She replied, rolling her eyes at him.

Ed started in shock, his pride unable to take her biting remarks any longer. With a snarl he pushed past her and out of the café, slamming the door in his wake.

---------- ---------- ----------

Winry knew she had missed her three o'clock. She didn't care. Her eyes still felt swollen and itchy and she was sure her face was blotchy but she couldn't stay in the café any longer. It smelled like him… like them, like sex.

The rain continued to fall. She was soaked through and covered in mud by the time she arrived back in Garfiel's

Will's eyes widened in shock as he took in her dishevelled form. "Where have you been? You're soaking."

Winry swallowed past the lump in her throat, shrugging in response.

Will frowned at her, placing the box of shin plates on the counter top and retrieving a towel from one of the drawers.

He walked up to her and offered her the small towel. When she didn't respond, he dumped the towel on her head and began drying her hair.

"So did you sort things out with Edward?" His face was obscured by both towel and wet hair and so Winry couldn't see his expression. He sounded genuinely interested.

"What?" Winry's own voice came out strained.

"Al said you guys had a big fight a few years ago. I heard raised voices and doors slamming while I was working on Fran… so you either sorted things out or…"

Winry glanced up at him and felt sick. He stood sadly smiling before her, chivalrous and kind. "Where is he? Where are they… Ed and Al?"

Will sighed, glancing in the direction of the counter top. "They left. Edward said something about a train east. Al wasn't too happy about going without saying goodbye… well, it didn't sound that way." He looked away flushing. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop but they were shouting-"

"They're gone?" Winry blinked back tears.

Will nodded, frowning at her. "Edward paid." He inclined his head in the direction of a large wad of notes lying on the counter. "I told him it was far more than needed, even counting in the rush job fee but he was, eh, insistent. I-"

He glanced down as Winry began to shake. "Are you ok?" He crouched down slightly, looking her in the eye. "You must be freezing, Win. Let's get you out of these wet clothes, ok?" He placed a hand on the small of her back and began to usher her in the direction of the stairs.

Winry glanced at the large amount of money Ed had left behind. He knew the automail business; he would have known he left a disproportionately large amount. It made Winry feel cheap, used.

Her breathing hitched and she felt the familiar sting of tears. Will stopped and turned to face her once more. "Win, what's wrong? Are you ok?"

She refused to look at him. She had known Will for a few years now; she knew he had feelings for her. Part of her wished she felt the same way for him. He was kind and considerate, he made her laugh… So why couldn't she forget about Ed? In the past few months she and Will had got closer, he probably considered them not-quite-dating… He didn't deserve to be second best.

Winry closed her eyes and bit her lip as guilty tears began to flow freely from her eyes. Will started, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Shush." He cooed soothingly. "It's ok, Winry."

She whimpered, pressing her face against his chest and crying openly.

Will frowned, wrapping his hands around her and smoothing her tangled hair. "Shush, it's ok, Winry. You guys will sort it out. Just you wait and see, everything will be fine."

* * *

_Evil again, eh? I think _CrimsonNekolady had it right...The evil authoress from Hell, eh? _  
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As always reviews are adored! Constructive criticism especially so. Seriously, I love hearing people's thoughts on my fics, whether you like it or not! I really want to improve my stuff so any and all comments are welcome!_


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